50 Valentine’s Day Jokes & Puns to Make You Laugh Out Loud

Valentine’s Day is the perfect time to share love, laughter, and maybe even a cheesy pun or two. Whether you’re looking to make your significant other chuckle at your Valentine’s card , or you want to spread some joy among your friends, these Valentine’s Day jokes and puns are guaranteed to hit the sweet spot.

Classic Valentine’s Jokes

Sometimes, the classics are the way to the heart – and the funny bone.

1. What did the stamp say to the envelope on Valentine’s Day?
   I’m stuck on you!
2. How did the phone propose to his girlfriend?
   He gave her a ring.
3. Who will always have a date on Valentine’s Day?
   The calendar.
4. Why did the skeleton break up with his girlfriend before Valentine’s Day?
   His heart wasn’t in it.
5. What did the calculator say to his Valentine?
   You can count on me!
6. What did one grape say to the other grape on Valentine’s Day?
   Will you be wine?
7. Why did the Couple’s photo go to jail?
   It was framed!
8. What did one flame say to the other?
   We’re a perfect match!
9. How did the octopus make his girlfriend laugh?
   With ten-tickles!
10. What do you call a romance novelist with writer’s block?
    Hopelessly romantic.

Food Themed Valentine’s Puns

Because nothing says love like food and laughter.

1. Why did the orange go out with the banana?
   Because they found each other very a-peeling!
2. What did one melon say to the other on Valentine’s Day?
   You’re one in a melon!
3. What did the pickle say to impress his Valentine?
   I’m kind of a big dill!
4. Why did the cookie cry?
   Because it couldn’t find its sweetie!
5. What did the avocado say to its Valentine?
   You guac my world!
6. What did the peanut say to the cashew?
   I’m nuts about you!
7. What did the sushi say to ask out its date?
   Wanna roll with me?
8. Why did the tomato turn red on Valentine’s Day?
   Because it saw the salad dressing!
9. Why did the chef meet his girlfriend??
   He was in right plaice at the right thyme.
10. What did the coffee say to its Valentine?
    You’re brew-tiful, and I love you a latte!

Animal Themed Valentine’s Jokes

Celebrate love and animals with these pun-tastic gems.

1. What did the cat say to its Valentine?
   You’re purr-fect for me!
2. Why don’t fish celebrate Valentine’s Day?
   They’re too shellfish!
3. What did the owl say to its Valentine?
   Owl always love you!
4. Why do birds always stay together on Valentine’s Day?
   Because they’re tweethearts!
5. What did the squirrel say to its Valentine?
   I’m nuts about you!
6. What did the bee say to its Valentine?
   Bee mine!
7. What do cows write in their Valentine’s card?
   ‘I love moo!’
8. What did the rabbit say to its Valentine?
   No bunny compares to you!
9. What do turtles do on Valentine’s Day?
   They shell-ebrate!
10. Why don’t frogs give roses?
    They give croakuses instead!

Cheesy Valentine’s Puns

For those who enjoy a little bit of fun, cringe-worthy romance, these Valentine’s pickup lines will make everyone laugh (or groan…).

1. Are you French?
   Because Eiffel for you!
2. If you were a vegetable, you’d be a cute-cumber.
3. Do you have a plaster?
   Because I just scraped my knee falling for you.
4. If kisses were snowflakes, I’d send you a blizzard.
5. Are you a candle?
   Because you light up my life!
6. Is your name Google?
   Because you have everything I’ve been searching for.
7. I must be a snowflake,
   because I’ve fallen for you.
8. Can I follow you home?
   Because my parents always told me to follow my dreams.
9. If you were a triangle,
   You’d be acute one.
10. Do you have a map?
    Because I keep getting lost in your eyes.

Valentine’s Jokes for Singles…

Who says Valentine’s Day is only for couples? Send these jokes to your single friends for a bit of light-hearted fun.

1. What is the difference between the calendar and the single person on Valentine’s Day?
   The calendar has a date!
2. What’s a single person’s favourite type of flower?
   Self-raising!
3. If you’re sad about being alone on Valentine’s Day, just remember… Nobody loves you on any other day either.
4. What do single people call Valentine’s Day?
   Independence Day!
5. Why did the single candle celebrate Valentine’s Day?
   It found itself enlightening!
6. Roses are red,
   Violets are blue,
   A box of chocolates for one,
   Costs less than a dinner for two.
7. What’s the best thing about being single on Valentine’s Day?
   You don’t have to pretend to like a gift you don’t actually want.
8. 8 planets, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas, 8.2 billion people and still no date for you on Valentine’s Day…
9. Why do single people love Valentine’s Day?
   Because they don’t have to share the box of chocolates for two!
10. What’s a single person’s mantra on Valentine’s Day?
    Love thyself!

Whether you’re celebrating Valentine’s Day with your significant other, your best friends, or enjoying some quality me-time, these jokes and puns are bound to add some extra joy to your day.

Have a laugh, share the love, and don’t forget to send these to your favourite people – they’re guaranteed to fall head over heels for your sense of humour!

Happy Valentine’s Day!